Back To Taekwondo?

If you’ve known me since I was younger, you’d probably know that Taekwondo is one of the sports that I spend most of my time with. Most of my friends were really fascinated about it, so was I, since it’s a form of Martial Arts–it’s an action-packed sport. And I’m a girl, and not all girls are into it as I am. I’ve been really a student-athlete most of my academic life. Right now, even if I’m in already in college, I’m thinking of going back to the sport.

I started training back in Second Grade, and although trainings were not as consistent as it should be, I still went on. It took me years to train and practice the different Taekwondo Poomse or forms, normally the Taegeuk, Palgwe. I don’t recall having photos of me while in trainings, though. I don’t look as photogenic as I want to be while I’m all in sweat. Sparring? I’ve cried a lot of times after being kicked in the butt. It worried my parents that I always flunked in fights, since we were never really taught to kick somebody’s ass until we joined Taekwondo. I was scared. I always faced people who were in a higher level and I always end up getting kicked. I have to admit, I was scared. And at that time, while I was in low brown level (two more levels before black), I backed out. There was a realization that after all, I wasn’t really born for this sport. 

So back in 2006, when I was in Sixth Grade, up until I was in my Freshman year, I stopped Taekwondo and joined the school’s volleyball varsity team. I was part of St. Paul College, Pasig volleyball team, and we won a couple of tournaments. After sixth grade, I transferred to San Beda College for High School. My older sister and I were both part of the team. We managed to win places in some tournaments, and we all knew that we needed more room for improvement. Eventually, I stopped training volleyball and went back to Taekwondo. Trainings were harder since we trained with the seniors. We represented the school in the annual National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Taekwondo championships. I didn’t win a medal of my own, and it sucks to know that there wasn’t much contribution from me, even if my team won the overall championship.

Yep, I didn’t win. I haven’t won any fight. Yet, should I say at least. I lack exposure. And even if I’m promoted to high brown level already, I have to be honest with myself. I’m still scared.

After more than a year of no training, and now that I am in college, I’m thinking of taking another shot again. I’m eyeing the scholarships this time, and this would take some more effort. I will be faced with people who has fought probably a million times more that I did. Which scares me more.

But then I realized that I shouldn’t be scared at all. It will take me nowhere. I will be a student-athlete again, part of the Taekwondo varsity team, representing DLSU. This week, I will check out the details on how to join the team, and how to be promoted to black. To be frank, this was where I realized that quitting taekwondo was wrong:

This is taken from the 2010 adaptation of Karate Kid, starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. This was the part after Dre (Jaden) was injured in the tournament.

Dre Parker: Do you think I could’ve won? 
Mr. Han: Win or lose doesn’t matter, Xiao Dre. 
Dre Parker: You know that’s not I mean. 
[long pause] 
Mr. Han: Yes. I think you had a good chance. 
Dre Parker: So let’s do the fiery cup thing. 
Mr. Han: You don’t need to fight anymore. You have proven everything you need to prove. 
Dre Parker: What, that I can get beat up easy and then quit? That’s not balance, that’s not real kung fu. You said that when life knocks you down, you could choose whether or not to get back up. Well, I’m trying to get back up, and why won’t you help me? 
Mr. Han: Because I cannot watch you get hurt anymore. 
Dre Parker: Please, Mr. Han, please. 
Mr. Han: Just tell me, Xiao Dre, why? Why do you need to go back out there so badly? 
Dre Parker: Because I’m still scared. And no matter what happens, tonight, when I leave, I don’t want to be scared anymore.

I have found my passion back again, and I pray everyday that somewhere I will find the strength of a genuine fighter. That’s because I badly want to finish what I started. I’m born to fight after all. I don’t want to be scared anymore. 

It’s like she’s here, except that she’s away.

Unlike most kids, my sisters and I grew up without our mom. It was summer of 2007 when she left to work in Encino in Los Angeles, CA. She has left a couple of times before leaving in 2007, but this trip is a little bit different than her previous ones. She hasn’t gone back home, and it’s been five years already. It is a big deal that my mom is away, but dramas aside, we have always managed to keep up. It is an advantage of having been used with the technology nowadays since my mom is on Facebook, Yahoo! Messanger, and even Skype, so communication is always easy. 

My family makes it to a point that we think not that the distance between us and mom is a great barrier–it’s not. In a way, yes, but mostly, nah. She was not here while I grew up in my High School years, but she always knew what was going on. We take pictures and we tag her on Facebook. I make song covers and she always gets to watch it. She knows where we always go because we tell her. She knows my friends, even my crushes, because we are open with her. We make sure that she doesn’t get worried about us, that’s why we don’t make her feel so. It’s like she’s here, except that she’s away. 

Soon, when the papers are fixed, she can go home already. Or we can go visit her there. For good? Maybe. But soon, I know, we’ll see each other again. We could go shopping and spend all the money on the nice things, or maybe just hang out somewhere and we would buy her a can of Coke, just as usual. 

This is my mom. As you can see, she’s beautiful, no doubt. Without her, I wouldn’t be here writing a blog post at all. I admire her, and all the mothers who are away from their families to give them a better future. Guys, never miss a chance to say you love them.  

Ma, I know that the reason why you have to be away is for us to have a good future. So thank you, I love you, and see you soon. Happy Mothers’ Day.  

Money Management

Here’s a fact: I have not done any Christmas shopping yet. When malls went on sale around November to December, I refused the urge to go out of my house or go straight to the mall from school to buy. First of all, my money was always just enough. I am not a shopaholic, but I WANT TO BE. I love the feeling of just buying clothes, shoes, bags, even makeup, without worrying about the price.

The thing about shopping for most of the people I know is that they either use their parents’ money, or credit cards (which are paid also by their parents). But for me, even if I have not been to shopping that much all my life, I can always imagine the exact feeling of getting something that I want. I always dwell on the idea that shopping USING MY OWN MONEY is something more worthwhile.

I’m only a college student, and I’m glad I’m taking up Entrepreneurship. Unlike the others who are looking for part-time jobs, I have already found mine. I work in a Multi-Level Marketing industry. Some call it Networking, and the very word sparks negativity and people associate it to illegal, scam, or unprofessional. It’s not. It was my training ground to be confident as myself as I talk to different people, mostly twice as old as my age, and be convincing enough to sell. I find this more lucrative than staying online all day, waiting for their aspirations to fall unto their laps. I guess it’s safe to say that I have my own sources of income, and in a way I don’t really have to depend on my parents for money. Someday, I would save enough to invest and make my money work for me.

In the meantime, since I haven’t opened myself a bank account just yet (but I will, probably this summer), I want to share with you my little “banking system” that I’ve been doing for almost a year now. It’s a kind of Money Management that I learned from Mr. John Calub, the Philippines’ leading success coach who has inspired a lot of people to become millionaires in a short time. I’m glad that I got to attend his seminars. It really feels good to be focused on the ambition to succeed financially.

I bought six cookie glass jars and labeled each with the following: Money Forever, Wisdom, Giving, Yearly Income, Financial Liberation, and Abundant Spending. 

Money Forever Jar. The words “I don’t have money”, or “I’m broke”, or “I’m poor” can be too overwhelming that it leaves you troubled or uneasy. Here, I put just 1% of my income, or allowance, or just spare change that gets left after the day. 1% can be just too little, but as day passes, the jar gets more and more. The rule is that I’m not supposed to take any amount from this, no matter how tempting the jars can be opened easily. This jar is but a reminder that I’m wealthy in a way, since I’m never out of money. Having that kind of mindset would not be too troublesome.

Wisdom Jar. They say that the saddest thing in life is when one stops learning. So I put 3% of my income or allowance here. The money I earn in this jar goes to seminars or workshops or lessons or any kind of activity that would help me improve myself as a person, and would increase my knowledge regarding certain things.

Giving. I see to it that I get to put also 3% of my income or allowance here. Every week, I get any amount from this jar and give it to any beggar that I come to pass by. Although I know that it’s technically not okay to give to beggars because of a lot of reasons, and it doesn’t help if they just rely on almsgivers, screw it. I don’t really mind as to where my money goes, as long as I give.

Yearly Income. What I did in this jar is that I computed the amount of money (bare minimum) that I need to last myself a year. Then I put 3% of my income in this account with the intention of reaching the total yearly income that I targeted. What’s this for, really? Self-fulfillment for the most part. As a student, I can live with a minimum of P250 a day. That includes food and transportation and nothing else; that’s the minimum, anyway. So that makes it P91,250 a year. By the time my jar reaches this amount, I would have been earning probably 6-digit income a year. It’s really inspiring, at least for me.

Financial Liberation. Of course, I also want to build assets. As early as now, I save up money so I can invest it in the future. I’m thinking of buying stocks, or whatsoever. The higher the risk, the higher the returns. I love the ‘gamble’, or at least that’s how I call it. It’s better than not spending it at all.

Abundant Spending. This one is my favorite. I put 3% of my allowance/income and set a target. For now, my target is to get P30,000. It will take months to make it to the target, but it’s gonna be worth it. Because when I reach the target, I must spend it all IN ONE DAY. Yes, one day. 24 hours. I can buy myself anything with that.

That’s what makes it exciting. That’s what makes me do this whole money management thing. I get to reward myself in the long run. But please take note that I’ve been keeping money in jars for fun, just like a kid with her piggy bank. I know I could open myself a bank account and I should have few months ago. Emergency money? Yep, when I badly need to buy something, I don’t ask from my dad and get from the jars instead. I don’t always do it, and I get something from the daily allowance that I get. From the rate I’m going, I know someday I’m gonna enjoy it myself.

Also, I never wanted to have a credit card no matter how awesome they say it is to have one. It’s just a glorified means of debt in a plastic card. Maybe in the future when I have more than enough money to pay for the credit. For now, I think I could settle with a debit or ATM card. I know that the days when I don’t have to worry about the price, are not so far away.

I have a lot of ways to save, and this one is just one of them.

The Random Act

Unlike some other kids, my parents never told me not to talk to strangers, or engage in any sort of activity with them. I’m actually thankful that as I grew up my parents never “programmed” my mind that around us are very very mean people, those whose only things are in mind are mean stuff. Although, yes, I was also taught to be careful in a sense that I wouldn’t be fooled; but in such cases where I don’t have to judge too much, I look for the good in the person. There are those times when I was a kid, I would smile to random people and be happy that they would smile back. For me, doing a random good thing on a random stranger brings me joy, ’cause I know for a fact somehow I made someone happy as well. Who knows? You might even come across a stranger who would be attempting to kill himself, and your random smile would change his mind because he’d be reminded that there are still good people around. Well, let’s just hope no one would attempt to commit suicide in the first place.

Anyway, how would you actually feel when some stranger comes by you and gives you an envelope with money? Would you feel freaked out or scared that some psycho tries to brainwash you so he could steal whatever he can from you, or would you just smile and say thank you? Or, would you even dare to do a random act of kindness on a stranger?

I did.

As 2012 came, I also welcomed the idea that the universe will bring forth prosperity in my life. Not just financial prosperity, also the balance in all areas in my life too. I’m only 17, and I have heaps of time to be happy. But I chose to start feeling good today. All these years I believed that the first step in receiving is giving. The more you give, the more you receive, that’s what they say.

Here’s what my family did: We each had P100 worth of P1 coins (so we had a hundred coins). We counted them, and as we did, we were smiling, affirming, “Prosperity comes forth now!” and then placed ten coins in each ampao (small red money envelopes).

Then that’s it. We went out on our way and then randomly handed it to people, greeting them a happy new year. The best part in this whole experience is watching people’s reactions. It was funny because there was this man, walking on the side of the street who suddenly ran away upon seeing me bringing the windows down and handing him something. Oh man, I wish he only knew. I gave away some to kids who were playing on the side of the street, to a woman carrying a baby, to a street sweeper, to a traffic enforcer. Some people hesitated, but received it anyway, and they weren’t even smiling at all! But there were those who joyfully smiled and said thank you, and that’s simply heartwarming. I’m not as wealthy as I want to be, YET, but giving money away, even though only P10 is inside the envelope, oh man… It’s such a nice thing to do. Next time for sure, I’ll be giving more of what I have. I don’t really care where the money would go, but it surely would benefit something or someone. The giving matters.

In case you got me wrong, I don’t give JUST because I want something. I give something because it’s simply heartwarming to know that I have significant role in this world, that I’m channel of happiness to someone I have not met my entire life. It was a great way to start 2012, knowing that the universe will be giving me the good things that I deserve too!

Well, the giving doesn’t really end there. I have 363 days and beyond to be a blessing to others.

On my next article, I’ll be featuring my own personal bank at home. It’s a way of creatively saving money, but it does include “giving” in a way.

I hope you had a great way to start 2012! Happy new year! Cheers, for this is the year that all your ships come in!

Jump Startin’ 2012

Since I was a kid, I was so passionate about having all my stuff organized, even my time. I know, I know.. I was so much of a procrastinator, even now that I’m in college. But that’s what I’m trying to get rid of, hopefully, this 2012.

The thing is, I’ve been using planners since I was in elementary. Planners are something that I look forward to have, and it’s basically one of the things that I MUST have before the year starts. So last week, I’ve been going around looking for good ones in different bookstores. My planner 2011 was great, simple, but the fact that it was given to me by my ex makes my 2011 great…and sad. From now on, I guess, I will be the one who will be choosing my planner myself, since it’s one way to jump start 2012 right.

I initially wanted the Starbucks planner. I’ve been wanting it since two years ago, but two years ago, I ended up with this one:

The "I-Was-Supposed-To-Get-That-Coffee-House-Planner-But-I-Got-Fat/Broke-On-The-10th-Frappe" Planner 2010

But the thing is that getting fit on 2012 is on the list of my 2012 resolutions (and I’m pretty serious about this one). I decided that owning a Starbucks planner would contradict my “get fit this 2012″ plan. I hope you know what I mean.

After going through different bookstores, I hadn’t found anything as good as I want since all the planners look the same. I get to find good ones but it’s too simple, until I saw this one.

This is the 2012 Doodle Planner of 2012. Unfortunately, that time when I saw the planner, I don’t have any cash with me, so I just decided to buy it next time. Now, friends, here’s one thing: never say later once you find something you want. In my case, the next time I went back to the bookstore to get it, there were no more stocks–in all bookstores. Yup, I was disappointed. So I went to Facebook to try to look for its page, and then I realized that I can still order online, so I did. The downside: I will get the planner on the week of Jan. 16-20.

This is how the inside of the planner looks like:

Interesting, isn’t it?

I’m not really a doodle artist, but at least I can draw. Besides, I’ve bought a lot of colored felt-tip markers so that my 2011 planner would look more interesting. I’ve drawn memes, yup, the ones you see in 9gag, but doodling? I’ll try working on 2012.

Maybe with this, I’ll get to have more enthusiasm to plan ahead the good things in my life. It’s time to leave the bad memories of 2011, and bring to 2012 the good ones. I can’t wait for my planner, but I have no choice. Oh well, I hope that you, too, would have a good start of 2012. Just keep on wishing for the best and the universe will say yes to it. Go ahead and try, for just a single day, to think all the good and positive ones, and you’ll feel experience a wonderful change.

Oh, and regarding the end of the world on 2012, I choose not to believe it. Basically, I’m looking forward for an awesome 2013 to be as good as 2011, and as good as 2012 will be.

Happy New Year to y’all!

The Holiday Break, So Far.

With exactly six days left for the year 2011, I can’t help but look back on the days and figure out how exactly time passed by me. It was as if all the things in the past happened only in just a day–yesterday, since the details of it are quite vivid still in my memories. I don’t know, maybe since I’ve just made myself too busy so much in school that I started losing track of the speed of time. Maybe I enjoyed too much. Oh well, I’m happy for having a two-week break from school, especially after the finals, when I dedicated the whole weekend studying every bit of information I can try to squeeze into my mind just so I would get to answer all the problems in the test. I can remember how I sat all day with a thick book and how I actua–Oh my goodness the thought of it actually gives me stress. Nevertheless, this Christmas break is my kind of saving grace.

For the past week, I decided to just brush off the things that are actually bugging me. In fact, I haven’t let go of some things that I should have so many months ago. The thing is, I was so attached with the past that it’s taking a while for me to let go-but I’m now in the process. That’s why, I made sure that I have something to do or something to work on or something to keep me from having an idle mind, because it simply helps. I have been working out, doing Billy Blank’s Taebo Cardio workout and I’m glad that even in the holiday season where food is anywhere near, I get to burn calories and stay fit. I did workout 5 days straight, and then yesterday morning I played basketball with a friend, which was a good exercise too.

Anyway.

Last night, my family decided to just take a stroll at Eastwood. I wasn’t really expecting that we’d get to buy stuff, since what I only wanted was to go out and feel the Christmas which I couldn’t really feel at home because I keep myself busy. I wasn’t expecting that we would be spending a lot… UNTIL MY DAD BOUGHT ME A GUITAR.

One wish granted. I was actually wishing for a Taylor Dreadnought 310ce which costs more than $2,000 (P90k+), but I didn’t care anymore when I got the guitar because it actually sounds like a Taylor, and I’m good with that. My older sister later promised she would buy my recording mic. Just imagine me with all excitement ’cause the things I’ve been desiring for such a long time is just somewhere around the corner.

Christmas Eve. I wasn’t really excited about it, but I know that most are, and them feeling the “Christmas atmosphere” made me feel it as well. Noche Buena/celebration wasn’t as great as the previous ones, and I didn’t eat too much. Most of the time, I only played songs on my guitar, trying to get used again because I got a little bit rusty, haha. How I celebrated Christmas? I made a cover. Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years. Yep, I sang a lovely song, even if I hate to accept the idea that I’m a member of the Broken Hearts’ Club. Somehow, I’m happy and I don’t feel at all suicidal. So yes, I felt the love on that love song. Or maybe I was just too mesmerized by the sound of the guitar that I felt the love again. Just maybe.

We’ll all be welcoming 2012 next week. That I’m excited about. For now, I’ll just keep myself busy and at the same time enjoy myself. The next 2-week break that I’ll get from school will be on summer. It’s not that I hate school a lot. It’s just that I don’t get to have a chance to just chill and not mind any hectic stuff. Right now, at 4:33 am, I can say that I’m satisfied and happy, and I’d say that I’m lucky enough to have a good Christmas.

Hope you guys have had a great celebration too. Always remember that sharing the love doesn’t stop on Christmas; it goes on as long as we live and as long as we have to heart and the guts to do so. Merry Christmas!

The Good Vibes

Up until now that I’m just about to start a blog entry, an activity which I have missed doing for quite a while, I’m still in a state of shock and at the same time, relieved. Earlier tonight when I was walking to the tricycle terminal, a man came running to me with a warning that some kids were trying to steal something from my bag. I was lost for a moment, for when I checked my bag, the pocket was open. But my phone was safe, it was there, as if nothing happened.

Of course I thanked the man, and I owe him so much since my phone is an important thing for me. I asked the man to tell me the whole story, since at first I did not expect that I would find myself in such circumstance. It turned out that he almost got his stuff stolen, too, but he was wise enough to keep his things safe and even managed to warn me about it. I thanked him 1239847876 times; if he wasn’t as considerate as he was I would have lost my BlackBerry.

On the way home, I had a recap of everything that happened today. I woke up with heavy eyes because I wanted more sleep, but eventually I was able to prepare on time. I drove the car with my windows down, and I didn’t mind the pollution because it wasn’t the pollution that got me. It was the cold breeze, a reminder that the holiday season is somewhere around the corner. By 8am, I had my first class: Business Mathematics, and I loved the session. The lecture was pretty heavy and fun at the same time. Just as what my teacher said, we should learn to love the subject if we cannot love the teacher, or vice versa, just so we would love the grade that we would get. And then, by 9:30, we had approximately 3 hours to spare. We went to the University Mall to play Tekken in PS3 with my girls, and we had fun. At 1pm, we had our interclass competition since our PE is swimming. I guess I was more than prepared that I won first in my batch. That gave me an automatic perfect score in the subject, and I’m happy. At the end of the activity, I was drained out. But whatever, I’ll be going home in a while, I thought.

And it was just about two hours ago when the incident happened. I still think about it until now, and the thought of what if they took my phone away from me makes me cringe for a while. But then I realized something. All along, I was reading this book called Money and Law of Attraction: Learning To Attract Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Since I was young I have always been a fan of The Law of Attraction and I’m as much as possible try to live my life according to the law. At that moment when kids were trying to steal the things from my bag, these were the random things going through my mind:

“The breeze feels nice, it really is Christmas. Wow…. I wonder what other people are planning to do on the holidays…. How about those people, what would they do? ….” And I was imagining of all the nice things that I have been decreeing from the universe that would make me happy as I share it with others.

Believe me, I never thought of the negative things, it was surprising that even though I was drained out from the swimming interclass, I still managed to be chill and just be–I don’t know how exactly I call it–happy and satisfied. And the fact that I went home safe made me much more grateful that I have the means to be happy. I don’t hold any grudge against those people who still. I know that they know that they are only doing it just for the sake of having a comfortable Christmas, just as others want it to. So at the same time, I visualized that those people are happy, too, but not by causing trouble to other people. How I wish everyday I feel ecstatic.

I tell you friends, I wouldn’t mind spending at least minutes of my day sharing what has happened in a day of my happy life. Today, the good vibes win. Even if I had to walk among the crowd on the street or push myself into the uncomfortable train-full of people, I chose to feel the good vibes. Everyday, we are given the choice to tell a story of the things that bother us or the story that tells the things that we look forward to happen. Today, I choose to mind the things that brought positivity in my day.

Try feeling good all day. Let the rest of the things the universe knows that you deserve happen. Cheers!

 

The Aftermath of Pedring

Typhoon Pedring (international name: Nesat) has caused havoc to thousands of families not only in Metro Manila but also in the other provinces. In fact, it has also taken around 18 lives and left a lot of people missing. Many feared that Pedring was as strong as Ondoy, which hit Manila 2 years ago, causing heavy floods. Many of the people are still traumatized with the Ondoy flood because nothing like that has happened in Manila for years. But unlike the disaster 2 years ago, the people now are more prepared in case of disasters.

This morning when I drove out to the village (I thought I had classes, and I was informed of the suspension when I was on my way already), the whole place was a complete mess. Leaves and branches of trees are scattered on trees. Even the cable wires from electric posts were twisted and messed up. The aftermath depicted the intense activity of the typhoon. But the people are recovering. That’s how wonderful Filipinos are. And the sun is up already, and the rain has stopped. That’s a good thing for the families who are greatly affected by the typhoon.

Meanwhile, I love the cold weather, really, and I love it because classes are suspended today, giving me more time to sleep, relax and study. As a student who is studying in a school with a trimestral system, where every day is important for school, the two straight days of no classes seemed like a vacation for me. If it wasn’t because of the typhoon, I would have been going to school until Sunday because of the school fun run. And it’s sunday. Monday is another day for school. That’s why I thank the typhoon for giving me, and others, free time.

Still, let us pray for those whose concern is not whether there are classes or not, but for those whose concern is their shelter, destructed by powerful winds of Pedring. Let us pray that they may have enough strength to endure the next tropical depression somewhere outside the Philippine Area of Responsibility. God bless the Philippines.

Mall Security

I make it a habit to watch news every night to be updated with what’s happening with our country. I am not those kinds of teens who watch teen flicks and don’t give a shit about the reality outside. Although sometimes, I prefer watching otherwise because news become too awful for me to know.

So anyway, I heard from a TV news show who created a poll regarding mall security, whether it was safe inside malls or not. As a citizen who rides public transportation almost everyday to school, I become acquainted with the things I see daily; like the trains, the different kinds of people, and the busy streets of Metro Manila. One particular thing is when I always enter malls.

It’s not that I don’t care, but as much as I know that I shouldn’t, I should give a damn. In fact, it pisses me off. I usually have books in my bag and other stuff which makes it a bit heavy for me to bring. I try not to think of the hassle it brings, but when it comes to the mall entrance, I kind of sulk about the guards who check my bags. I mean, the ask me to put all my stuff on the table, I mean all of it, including the heavy ones, just to BARELY check it. Like, they would just take a peek inside and poke their sticks a bit. I know it’s a boring kind of thing to stand there idle to look at every piece of peoples’ stuff, but in terms of mall security, I think those terrorists who intend to cause harm would make it easy to bring a bomb inside because they can easily make it to the very first checkpoint.

I’m not one of those people who get mad and irritated and pissed with the long lines in the MRT’s and LRT’s upon entrance. In fact, I appreciate the guards who try to make sure that everyone’s safe from harm. But with the particular malls that I enter everyday to walk across to the next terminal, I think they should try to put a little bit of effort to do the checking. Or better yet, maximize technology. Use the metal detectors or whatever gadget they could use to easily identify what’s inside peoples’ bags, and at the same time, convenient for people.

I don’t wish for some bad stuff to happen, nor do anyone. I’m just saying that with all the things happening around, I think it would be better to be prepared.

Comfortably Busy

I can clearly remember how I was when I was in High School, and even in Grade School. I was grade conscious. I was trying so hard to please my teachers and even classmates. I wanted so bad to be always on top of everyone, grades wise. My classmates knew so much about me. Bragging aside, I was complimented a lot of times about my personality, that I’m capable of doing so much things instantaneously. I was always on the mood because people around me served as my motivation. I loved the feeling that I’m a somebody, that I’m THE SuperMilles (the name I made when I was around fifth grade, when I started learning to learn new stuff, which was awesome).

The feeling stays the same up to now, you see. But I can feel a change. College is starting to mould me into something that I wasn’t before. Though I have quite an easy schedule, the things that we do inside class and the amount of work and the kind of work that we do in school made me push myself to the limits, and it’s a good. It is a challenge.

The uncomfortable feeling started when I almost failed ALGEBRA class. It was a prerequisite to two subjects in the second term of the school year. Thankfully, the score I got in the finals was enough to pull my grades up to the very passing score. Although I did make it, the feeling of almost failing and getting behind the class was awful, contrary to the feeling of achievement that I use to have. What made it worse, I also got the same passing score in ACCOUNTING, a subject that I’ve always dreamt of acing. That, too, was utterly awful. There were days when I felt mediocre; but no, I chose to have that perspective that surpasses mediocracy.

But now, it’s already the second term. The first term was over. I made it. I was able to pass all my subjects in the previous term and we’re all back to square one, and we’ll all be again for the next eight terms of my college life.

I used to study hard. That was my error. I studied so hard that I ended up having huge eye bags and there come the days when I’m drowsy all day because of stress, come to think that I was only in High School, where things should be enjoyed at the same time. I used to study so hard that I focused on impressing my teachers and neglecting my health. It’s so different now. I choose to study smart. 

So far, I’m still in relaxed mode. We are not yet assigned to do whatever so I guess I’m using this time to update my blog as much as I can. So far, I’m trying my best to make drastic improvement on myself. I know it will take time, that’s why I’m taking it step by step. I’ve started organizing my planners and things, and made resolutions which I swore to myself that I will follow. And my friends, I swore to the world that that procrastination, a word that contrasts productivity, will be removed from my routine. It’s easier said than done, I know, because I can’t just quit social networking especially when I see my MacBook always readily available. I’m giving myself time. I have the capability of disciplining myself; I believe I can.

This is college. It’s far more serious that High School. I’ve learned quite a lot of lessons from the things that happened in the past, and I’m using it as a weapon. I’m wearing my game face on. I’m ready to take the challenges. Bring it on.